BLOG_2018_09_06_Playing the Inner Game to Win

PLAYING THE INNER GAME TO WIN

6 September 2018

Linda had a fantastic career in the making when her husband was offered a really big promotion that required the family to move overseas.  It meant Linda had to sacrifice her career, as work permits for spouses in the country they moved to were very difficult to obtain.   

Over time, she became more and more frustrated with staying at home, being bored and lonely and feeling unfulfilled.  Linda also became more and more anxious about the family’s financial status with only one income.  She was worried this would have a major impact on the ability of the family to keep their “two income” lifestyle and save for their retirement and the kid’s education.

Linda contemplated starting her own freelance consulting business but she had never worked on her own before and was afraid she didn’t have what it takes.  Her fears of the unknown and failure were stopping her from even trying, despite knowing this would possibly be the best thing for her and her family’s future. 

“In every human endeavor there are two arenas of engagement: the outer and the inner,” says Tim Gallwey, author of The Inner Game of Work.

“The outer game is played on an external arena to overcome external obstacles.
The inner game takes place within the mind and is played to overcome the self-imposed obstacles.”

You can try harder to change by taking more action in the “outside,” physical world. But if you’re powered by limiting beliefs and negative feelings, chances are you’re just going to go faster in the wrong direction.

So how do you effect real change, change that starts from within? The first step is to identify just what is holding you back. Some common internal roadblocks are:

• Fear. Probably the most popular culprit, the list of fears is endless. Whatever your fears, they prevent you in some way from experiencing your full potential.
  
  
• Thinking small. If you expect less, you get less. You have to think big and believe you can have success before you will actually experience it.
  
  
• Being out of balance. When we over focus on certain areas of our lives to the exclusion of others, we experience stress and incongruence. Creativity is then compromised.
  
  
• Lack of motivation. Without passion for what you’re doing (or at least a big payoff), it’s difficult to get moving in any direction.

Once you determine your specific roadblocks, it’s time to face them head on, reprogramming your beliefs and defining (or redefining) your life priorities and purpose!

• Working with a coach helps many to determine a practical strategy for navigating the roadblocks.
  
  
• Steven Covey of Seven Habits suggests writing a personal mission statement (as you would for a company) and then organizing your life around it.
  
  
• For the goals that seem impossible to accomplish, Barbara Sher, career counselor and best-selling author, suggests throwing an “idea party.” Get a group of people together and take turns throwing out your ideas and their obstacles—you’ll be surprised at some of the creative answers you’ll receive.

But whatever you do, keep looking inside.

Take responsibility for what you create externally and work on winning the inner game.

When you do, you’ll start winning in the outer world, too.