BLOG_2021_02_04 The Vulnerability of Dreams

The Vulnerability of Dreams

4 FEB 2021

February is known as the Death of Dreams month, as the vast majority of people give up on their dreams and goals in the second month of the New Year. I believe it’s because they haven’t gone through the “7-layers deep” exercise mentioned above and do not have an accountability buddy. Change is hard! It’s easier to quit than it is to keep pushing forward. There is no question about it, the motivation for change and growth has to be deeply personal for you to battle the desire to quit when things get tough or you just don’t feel like it.

Setting goals for many is not too difficult; they know it should be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely). However, setting goals and actually seeing them come to fruition are two very different things. That is why February results in the majority of people giving up on their goals to make their dreams come true. The downfall here is that setting goals in this manner is very logical and rational. It only incorporates the left side of our brain. 

The left side of the brain was designed to be rational and quickly anticipate and react to threats; i.e. it is still in “fight or flight” mode. Research has shown we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day, of which 95% are the same thoughts we had yesterday and the day before, and the day before that. For the average person, 80% of these habitual thoughts are negative. That means every day most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts. Is it no wonder we give up on our goals so easily – we are listening to the left side of our brain that has been designed to protect us with all of these negative thoughts?  

You have to be willing to be vulnerable. 

To greatly increase the likelihood we will achieve our dreams and goals we need to get emotional. We need to start thinking with the right side of our brain where we have great powers to counter all the negative thoughts we have going on in the left side of our brain. Great innovators and even highly successful business leaders recognized their successes were a result of allowing their right-sided brains (the creative brain) to build the visions. Only once the vision was in place did they allow the left sided brain to take over to put the action plan into play. Even Einstein recognized the power of the creative brain when he said,

“I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.”


Today, I’m asking you to tap into your intuition and inspiration to examine your success rate in achieving your goals.  

▫️ For this exercise to be the most effective it is best done sitting quietly with your eyes closed.

▫️ Look back on the last 12 months or even the last month and ask yourself these questions related to your goals and your unwillingness to take the needed uncomfortable actions to achieve those goals:

1) On a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being “often”, how often did you take the necessary steps to achieve your goals even when they pushed you out of your comfort zone? What has your unwillingness to get uncomfortable already cost you?

Did it cost you your dream, or your job? Did your failure to start your own business cause you pain and suffering in your current job? Did your relationships suffer as a result?

2) What biggest fear or obstacle is stopping you from getting out of your comfort zone?

Why haven’t you allowed yourself to get out of your comfort zone? Is it that you are so afraid of failure, or feeling like a fool if it doesn’t go as planned? Are you afraid you will be made fun of or embarrassed in some way? Are you afraid you won’t have all the answers? 

The one thing I’ve learned from getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is we are all afraid of something. And the only way we are going to get “unafraid” is to simply do the thing we are afraid of. Most of the time, after doing it, we wonder why we had waited so long!

3) What will it feel like if in one year’s time you are still where you are now?

This is the question that gets me motivated every time! How about you? Do you feel you have more to give to this world, more to do, more fun to have, etc.? Are there more mountains to climb, more rivers to cross and roads to travel? Or are you too comfortable and too much in the grip of fear that you’re okay standing still and watching as others move past you? If you answered “no” to that last question, it’s time to start moving. Taking any action is better than standing still. By moving, you come to learn what works and what doesn’t. There are no failures when everything is an adventure or a lesson to be learned!

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

It’s time to recognize your next level of fulfillment lies on the other side of your comfort zone.  And like when facing any type of big change or transformation, it’s best to do it, one simple baby step at a time.  If you try to do it all at one go, it will be too intimidating and daunting. Your immediate reaction will be to say, “No way, I can’t do that!” But if you know you only have to take it one small step at a time, you start getting comfortable with getting uncomfortable. You don’t object to the idea of taking the next step, knowing you can handle it. You start to gain traction and momentum and before you know it you’ve obtained your goal or you are well on your way; there is no possibility you will give up now! It will even come to pass that every February to come you will celebrate how you beat the Death of Dreams, over and over again.

Here’s to your comfortably uncomfortable baby steps!

Take the Challenge!

Take one action TODAY that will move you just 10% out of your comfort zone?

Remember, it only has to be about baby steps.

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