“Whatever is triggering you, is on you.”
~ Richie Norton, award-winning, bestselling author of
The Power of Starting Something Stupid
10 June 2021
I just had the most wonderful weekend visiting with extended family!
I had not expected this, because prior to the event I was angry and resentful. Everyone acted as if I was solely responsible for doing everything. No one offered to help to prepare for the family reunion – it was all on me! And yes, I did ask for help, but received the response, “I’m too busy”.
So I had a choice: let the anger and resentment ruin the fun; or get over it, do the best I could with what time I had available and enjoy myself.
I chose the later and shifted gears. Instead of an elaborate sit down dinner, I created a sandwich bar whereby everyone had to make their own. They were able to make it how they wanted it, and when they wanted it. And they also cleaned up their own mess! Easy breezy!
After the reunion, I realized no one seemed to notice otherwise! So why did I get so worked up about it all? That’s when I realized I was the one to put the pressure on myself due to my hyper-achiever expectations to make it perfect. And my perceived need to control the situation!
This experience was a good reminder about how our negative emotions can trigger and sabotage us. If we don’t take the necessary actions, they can rob us of joy and damage relationships. I’m grateful I was able to shift my mindset in time so I could enjoy the gift of having an “in-person” family reunion, and especially getting to know my 3-year old twin grand-nephew and grand-niece. That was priceless!
So what are your emotional triggers?
Take the assessment below to find out!
And once you know... what will YOU choose?
Taking the LEAP with you!
How Well Do You Manage Your Emotional Reactions at Work or Home?
Automatic, negative responses to people or events often indicate an emotional “trigger”, or “our buttons have been pushed”!
These “emotional” events stem from neuropathways developed prior to our birth to help us survive. They are all sourced form the left side of the brain; the fight or flight side. At work, these emotional reactions can limit your career advancement and cap the level of success you might achieve. At home, these reactions can cause excess sibling rivalry and even competition among spouses. Both at work and home, these triggers cause harm to relationships.
Our emotional triggers can be useful, just like our nerves that tell us to take our hand off a hot stove are very useful. But emotional events should be looked at only as messages telling us that something needs to change – not that we should adopt the emotion and make it a part of us. We need to take our hand off the hot stove!
I remember as a child, the only girl and the youngest, when my brothers would taunt me with, “You can’t do that, you’re a girl!" That’s all it would take to get me yelling and screaming. It wasn’t until my mother explained to me that the reason they were saying it was to get me to react – or to “push my buttons”! Once I learned to move the trigger from reactionary to inspirational, it challenged me to go beyond my comfort zone to prove them wrong. I’m thankful for their gift! I would not be who I am today without it!
Be careful how you react to your “buttons being pushed”. Answer the following two sets of questions, true or false, to discover how well you manage your emotional reactions at work and at home.
1. When anyone critiques my work or me personally—constructively or not—I tend to shut down and withdraw or feel ashamed.
2. When someone hurts me—for instance, if they fail to acknowledge my contribution—I lash out at them or blame myself.
3. I hate it when colleagues or my spouse tell me I’m “too sensitive.”
4. When a colleague or family members says or does something that makes me mad, it takes me a long time to let go of it. I often carry a resentment.
5. Sometimes I have no idea why I respond to people the way that I do—I just can’t control myself.
1. If I feel inordinately upset or angered by something at work or at home, rather than blaming someone for making me feel what I’m feeling, I take a deep breath, and then take an honest look at myself to see what I can learn from the situation.
2. When I feel “triggered,” I know it often has nothing to do with the person who pushed my buttons, but more to do with me and my perceptions.
3. If after I have calmed down and returned to an empathetic state of mind, I find a current situation needs to be addressed, I do so in a constructive manner.
4. I’m familiar with the situations to which I am most likely to overreact. More quickly now I recognize when my buttons have been pushed, and I am less reactive.
5. When my buttons do get pushed now, I am able to see any unresolved personal issues needing my attention. I can then return my focus to my work.
If you answered TRUE more often in Set 1
and FALSE more often in Set 2,
you may wish to learn how to deal more effectively with your emotional responses in the workplace and at home.
Your success depends on it!
Please don’t hesitate to email me
if you’d like to explore this issue further.
Think of a time at work and at home when your “buttons have been pushed”. Notice who did the pushing, what were they expecting to get out of it, and what was the message you needed to hear?
Can you find the gift in the circumstance?
Here’s another assessment to help you establish where you may be hindering your performance and relationship. This was an eye-opener for me. Even though my top two didn’t surprise me, the next three did!
COMPLIMENTARY REINVENT SESSION
Join me in a one-hour complimentary session to help determine how you can move forward in getting unstuck, and gain momentum to move in the right direction for you.
During our session, we will go over one or two exercises and determine the one next step you can take to keep the momentum going. Click here to schedule your session
Renée Blasky is the Founder and CEO of The LEAP Network Ltd.
Renée discovered her business and mindset coaching super powers when she was approached by a woman looking for assistance in developing a business opportunity. She hasn’t looked back since. Coaching women fits with her passion to empower women so they live a fulfilled life and make choices from a foundation of personal power, financial freedom and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Through her own experiences, as well as coaching women entrepreneurs and women in finance, Renée understands women often undermine their confidence and self-esteem. Consequently, they jeopardize their success paths, and mental fitness. As mindset accounts for an estimated 80% of success and happiness, Renée helps her clients to understand the lies they are telling themselves, how they are sabotaging their performance, wellness and relationships and helps them to establish a new journey to thrive utilizing their superpowers.
Renée helps her clients find clarity, regain their passion, set stick-worthy goals, stay focused, create the right mindset, and be accountable. She also gently pushes her clients outside of their comfort zones and helps them face their fears so they can achieve their dreams. Renée works with her clients through various online courses, webinars, one-on-one coaching, and group coaching programs.
Renée, who trained as a life coach with Tony Robbins and Cloé Madanes, is also a certified trainer for Marci Shimoff's Happy for No Reason and Susan Jeffer's Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway courses based on their respective books of the same name. She is also in the process of getting certified in the Positive Intelligence® program to increase her client’s mental fitness.
Renée is aptly qualified to coach women entrepreneurs and women in investments having founded two of her own businesses; investment management consulting services and business coaching. She is passionate about equality, diversity and inclusion and loves multi-cultural environments, having lived abroad for 35 years with assignments in 13 countries. She obtained her Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) Charter in 1990, and has over 30 years of experience in the investment/finance industry. She is listed in Marquis Who’s Who in the World and Who’s Who in Finance. She has also received various awards and recognition in the investment industry through her work with the CFA Institute and the development of capital markets in East Africa.
Learn more about Renée and The LEAP Network by visiting her website here: www.theleapnetwork.coachesconsole.com.
You can also send an email directly to Renée at firstname.lastname@example.org (not “.com”)
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