BLOG_2018_11_01_It is All About Them
It's All About Them
01 November 2018
The ability to communicate well with others is one of the most powerful tools you’ll learn in your life. Without communication, collaboration is impossible, and without collaboration, nothing ever happens.
However, chances are you’ve spent very little time actually learning how to communicate. Sure, you spend a lot of time in conversations, and you’ve learned to communicate through your family, friends and teachers. But if you’re like most people, you’ve never focused on really learning the skills that make communication effective.
Well you can breathe a sigh of relief, my friend, you’re not alone as most people haven’t.
The number one trick of good communication is this…
It’s not about you. It’s all about them.
You may be trying to get your point across, but if that’s your sole focus, you’re going to have a hard time. Why? Because whomever you’re talking to spends 99% of their time dealing with their own concerns. They worry about their appearance. They fret over their finances. They think about their weekend. Sound familiar?
You’ve got to get into THEIR world.
Think of it like this…If you wanted to borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbors, would you open your window and shout at the side of their house, hoping that they’re home, paying attention to the world outside, in possession of a measuring cup AND willing to bring the sugar to you?
Or would it be more effective to go knock on their door with a measuring cup in hand and ask politely?
Communication is just like that. If you’re willing to get into your partner’s world by asking questions, repeating back what you’ve heard, being present and connected with eye contact and open body language, and speaking on their level, then you’re far more likely to be heard and understood.
Courtesy and respect are the best tools you can use in any exchange. Getting into your partner’s world is a show of courtesy and respect for whatever they may be dealing with. After all, we all have a lot going on.