"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
~ William Shakespeare
24 June 2021
I’m sitting in bed with tears streaming down my cheeks. It’s been a rough morning as the grief settles in.
Yesterday afternoon I received notice of my brother’s passing. – he was only 65-years-old. So, for the second time in 2.5 years I had to share the news with my mother she had lost another son. Parents are not supposed to bury their children – it’s just so wrong.
I didn’t know if I could sit down and write this newsletter, but William Shakespeare’s quote reminded me it is better to voice your grief.
I’ve learned the strength and beauty of vulnerability and to see the gifts in all things. In this case, the gift is my 88-year-old mother no longer needs to worry about her son (he had been showing signs of illness but didn’t seem to be handling it well, so she was very worried). As she put it after I broke the news, “He is in a better place and is with his brother now”. My mother is so strong and an amazing woman. I’m also grateful for the gift of our family reunion just two weeks ago where my brother was able to hug and interact with his 3-year-old twin grandchildren!
Facing grief is hard and it comes in different forms each time. This death is hitting me harder than the death of my other brother 2.5 years ago. Perhaps it’s because I no longer have siblings. Or it’s because we will never share a meal again, something which we did quite often. Or it’s that his kids no longer have a father. Or maybe it’s something else all-together. Time will tell. Whatever the reason, I recognize I need to take time off. So, this is my last work-related item for the week as I give myself space to process my grief and help my mom and nephews do the same.
If you are experiencing grief, or trauma, or depression, please hold space for yourself too and ask for help if needed. I hope the information below is also helpful.
Please hug your loved ones. Tell them you love them! You never know when it will be too late to do so! And get a will – don’t put an extra burden on those you leave behind!
Starting Over: Tips to Finding Grace in Difficult Times
Death of a loved one. Pandemic. Natural disaster. Divorce. Job loss. Career change.
There's not one of us who has escaped major change in our lives. And whether you bring on major change yourself or circumstances beyond your control are thrust upon you, starting over is never easy.
In fact, major life change can bring with it extreme heartache, debilitating stress and despair.
But you can do it. You have the means within yourself to recuperate and grow from any life-altering situation. Truly.
If you or a loved one is facing an experience that requires "starting over," keep the following points in mind. They'll help you get through a very difficult time with greater peace-of-mind and grace.
Take time to let go.
Starting over often happens due to traumatic events. Even when you initiate the change that requires starting over, grief is natural. Take the necessary time to grieve your losses. Your time frame for mourning may be different than someone else’s, so be true to your own needs. Don’t let them determine how long you need to mourn.
Be gentle with yourself.
If ever there was a time to love and nurture yourself, it would be now. Go easy and be sweet with yourself. Take rest when you need it. Say no to anything but the essential, and use that extra time to sleep, walk in nature, and/or visit with supportive friends. Just be.
One step at a time.
Starting over can feel overwhelming at first, so pay attention to one step at a time. For example, if your home has been devastated by fire or another disaster, take care of your immediate housing needs and safety first before you turn to the bigger question of where to live in the long run.
Take consistent baby steps.
You will make more progress (and it will feel easier) if you focus on accomplishing regular, small tasks rather than large ones now and then. It will also help you move through the times when you feel so overwhelmed that you can't seem to do anything. Acknowledge each and every step as an accomplishment. Each and every one is. Celebrate you made it another step.
Accept the change.
Whatever has happened has simply "happened." It just is. Try to avoid "what if" scenarios or feeling guilty or creating stories to explain why it happened. Hard as it might seem, acceptance helps you embrace the process of starting over.
Make an attitude adjustment.
Starting over can be as easy as changing your mind or your attitude. Instead of being fearful of change and what lies ahead, embrace the potential change makes possible. Try to view it as adventurous, perhaps even exhilarating. You may learn to celebrate change rather than trying to avoid it.
Set realistic deadlines.
When it comes to the tasks required of starting over, it's helpful to set deadlines for yourself. But give yourself ample time to accomplish them. For example, you might set a date to attend a support group to help you deal with the pain of loss.
Learn new skills if necessary.
Starting over might mean having to learn some new skills. If you lost your job, you might need or want to go back to school. If you lost a longtime spouse, you might have to learn how to date again. Be open to learning. It's a positive way to start over and have some fun at the same time.
Create a support team.
Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family members for help, or attend support groups. And know when to seek help from professionals. Consider advice from books as well, such as James M. Kramon’s Starting Out or Starting Over: An Expert’s Checklists for Life’s Major Decisions. Such resources can be invaluable to the starting-over process.
Like it or not, change is inevitable. Learn to accept, embrace and grow from the change. Starting over will feel easier, and you be able to go with the flow more gracefully.
If you are grieving a loss, you are already facing many challenges.
Therefore, I’m only asking you to remember to smile often.
It will help increase the “happy hormones” so you feel better.
A great friend of mine, Lynn Lambrecht has an amazing book, “The Living Planner”. It helps you navigate all the moving pieces of life. It provides practical day to day ways to prepare you, your families and your workplaces for life and death.
Please, please, please check it out here!
By doing this before you are in need, you gift your loved ones and makes life easier!
If you know it's time for a change in a specific area of your life, but you aren't sure how to make it happen, this is for you - Courage, Risks and Reward: Taking a Chance to Change Your Life - a 5-part Coaching Program compliments of The LEAP Network! Click here to download the program.
COMPLIMENTARY REINVENT STRATEGY SESSION
Join me in a one-hour complimentary strategy session to help determine how you can move forward in getting unstuck, and gain momentum to move in the right direction for you.
During our session, we will go over one or two exercises and determine the one next step you can take on your own after the call to keep the momentum going. Click here to schedule your session
Renée Blasky is the Founder and CEO of The LEAP Network Ltd.
Renée discovered her business and mindset coaching super powers when she was approached by a woman looking for assistance in developing a business opportunity. She hasn’t looked back since. Coaching women fits with her passion to empower women so they live a fulfilled life and make choices from a foundation of personal power, financial freedom and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Through her own experiences, as well as coaching women entrepreneurs and women in finance, Renée understands women often undermine their confidence and self-esteem. Consequently, they jeopardize their success paths, and mental fitness. As mindset accounts for an estimated 80% of success and happiness, Renée helps her clients to understand the lies they are telling themselves, how they are sabotaging their performance, wellness and relationships and helps them to establish a new journey to thrive utilizing their superpowers.
Renée helps her clients find clarity, regain their passion, set stick-worthy goals, stay focused, create the right mindset, and be accountable. She also gently pushes her clients outside of their comfort zones and helps them face their fears so they can achieve their dreams. Renée works with her clients through various online courses, webinars, one-on-one coaching, and group coaching programs.
Renée, who trained as a life coach with Tony Robbins and Cloé Madanes, is also a certified trainer for Marci Shimoff's Happy for No Reason and Susan Jeffer's Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway courses based on their respective books of the same name. She is also in the process of getting certified in the Positive Intelligence® program to increase her client’s mental fitness.
Renée is aptly qualified to coach women entrepreneurs and women in investments having founded two of her own businesses; investment management consulting services and business coaching. She is passionate about equality, diversity and inclusion and loves multi-cultural environments, having lived abroad for 35 years with assignments in 13 countries. She obtained her Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) Charter in 1990, and has over 30 years of experience in the investment/finance industry. She is listed in Marquis Who’s Who in the World and Who’s Who in Finance. She has also received various awards and recognition in the investment industry through her work with the CFA Institute and the development of capital markets in East Africa.
Learn more about Renée and The LEAP Network by visiting her website here: www.theleapnetwork.coachesconsole.com.
You can also send an email directly to Renée at firstname.lastname@example.org (not “.com”)
Please join us on social media: