The ability to observe without evaluating
is the highest form of intelligence.
― J. Krishnamurti
22 April 2021
Have you ever tried to spend just one day without passing judgment on yourself, others, or a particular situation? If you have, you probably discovered very quickly just how difficult it is. Living inside our “thinking” brain is a judge waiting to pass a sentence. This judge is hyper critical of everyone, and everything!
But here’s the thing: that same judge is there to try to protect us, keeping us safe and alive. It’s part of the “survival brain” or the “fight or flight” mode that keeps us from doing stupid things – or at least most of the time. As a result of the judge residing in our survival brain, we learn to listen to it, think it is always right and actually heavily rely on it to determine our next course of action.
While this might sound like a good thing, it is not. Living with our judge means we are continually thinking negative thoughts and experiencing negative emotions. It also keeps us from recognizing when we need to make changes in our lives so we can be happier, live with joy and go after our dreams, even when scary. As a result of the judge’s hold on us, we tolerate negative thoughts and emotions way too much because it’s comfortable, it’s safe. But we all know personal growth never occurs in the comfort zone!
So are you stuck in the comfort zone because your judge has taught you to be tolerant of negative emotions and situations?
What is that tolerance costing you?
Taking the LEAP with you!
“Tolerations” Take a Toll
What do a boss who’s always yelling at you, your mate’s over-spending habits, a cluttered house or office, tight shoulders due to a lack of income, and a ho-hum (or bad) relationship have in common?
They’re all tolerations, those little or big things we put up with—often without realizing it—that sap our energy and drain our life force. It’s our judge or inner critic trying to keep us safe and comfortable. Every time we tolerate something, we deplete the energy we could be using to make desired changes or to simply experience joy in our life. It’s like living with a low-grade fever or pain that somehow dulls our experience and zaps our full vitality.
😞 Ughhh. He’s late again—with some made up excuse. Zap!
😞 I hate it when she treats me like that. Zap! Zap!
😞 Overdrawn again. Zap! Zap! Zap!
At the root of our tolerations are a variety of limiting beliefs and saboteurs that immobilize us. For example: “That’s just the way it is.” “I’m not worth it.” “Don’t rock the boat—play it safe.” “Don’t complain or be too demanding.” “I don’t have enough time/money/support.” “I can’t do this.” “I’m not worthy.”
Do these sound familiar?
There are countless limiting beliefs, all of which stem from our judge and nine accomplice saboteurs . They all serve to dampen our life force and keep us playing small. And, boy, are they exhausting and sneaky and conniving! They cause damage deep into our psyche.
If we are committed to feeling better about ourselves, to making changes that will bring us greater peace of mind and happiness, it will greatly help to evaluate and eliminate the tolerations standing in our way, to weaken the judge and the saboteurs.
Here are some ideas on how to do that:
Appraise. Make an honest appraisal of what you are tolerating in each of the areas of your life: home environment, health, work, money, relationships and so on. Write down everything that annoys you or that you feel you are putting up with. You will likely come up with more than 100 of these tolerations!
Also, sign up to take the Saboteur Assessment here to identify your accomplices and how they are contributing to your tolerance.
Evaluate. Examine each underlying limited belief that has kept you putting up with these things. Again, get support to help you break through them. You may be so close to some of these beliefs that you can’t fully recognize them for what they are. When you work with someone who is trained to help you through this progress you can make progress quicker and easier.
Appreciate. Take an honest look at what you are getting out of keeping things as they are. There is always some kind of payoff for whatever is going on in your life. Who in your life—or what part of you—does not want things to change? Appreciate that person or part, and look for ways for it to be win-win for all concerned. You can even ask for their help.
Choose. Based on your values and goals, you get to choose. What will you say “no” to? “Yes?” Make sure the “yeses” really excite you and that the no's are clear. Commit to making them real!
Plan. With the support of friends, family or your mindset coach, develop a strategy for eliminating these tolerations. You don’t have to do it alone—in fact, it’s useful and helpful to partner up or create a support team.
As you eliminate tolerations and weaken your saboteurs, you will feel the joy of being at choice, an increase in your vitality and a sense of empowerment. Then YOU will be in the driver’s seat of your life…and won’t that be a beautiful and worthwhile ride!
 Positive Intelligence (www.positiveintelligence.com)
After you finish the activities listed above, including taking the Saboteur Assessment...
Take the PQ Score Assessment found below in Resources.
This can help you determine just how much impact your tolerating is costing you in terms of happiness and potential achievement.
Positive Intelligence Quotient (PQ)
PQ (Positive Intelligence Quotient) measures the relative strength of your positive mental muscles (Sage) versus the negative (Saboteur).
PQ is the most widely used measure of mental fitness. Independent researchers have validated this measure to be the greatest predictor of how happy you are, and how well you perform against your potential. Find out your PQ Score in 2 Minutes
COMPLIMENTARY REINVENT STRATEGY SESSION
Join me in a one-hour complimentary strategy session to help determine how you can move forward in getting unstuck, and gain momentum to move in the right direction for you.
During our session, we will go over one or two exercises and determine the one next step you can take on your own after the call to keep the momentum going. Click here to schedule your session
Renée Blasky is the Founder and CEO of The LEAP Network Ltd.
After realizing her career in the financial industry was no longer exciting, Renée started her journey as a Start-up Business Coach by completing the Tony Robbins and Cloe Maddanes Core 100 Strategic Intervention program and she has never looked back!
Through her Get Results Without the Overwhelm Program, she loves working with new solo entrepreneurs to help them become the CEO of their companies. Using her unique process she helps them strategize, set stick-worthy goals, and implement an action plan. The program includes valuable resources to help them stay focused, create the right mindset, and stay accountable. She also gently pushes her clients outside of their comfort zones and helps them face their fears so they can achieve their dreams. Renée works with her clients through various online courses, webinars, one-on-one coaching, and group coaching programs.
In addition to her own Get Results Without the Overwhelm Program, Renée is a certified trainer for Marci Shimoff's Happy for No Reason and Susan Jeffer's Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway courses based on their respective books of the same name. She is also in the process of getting certified in the Positive Intelligence program.
Renée, who obtained her CFA Charter in 1990, has over 30 years of experience in the finance industry and first entered into the world of entrepreneurship in 1997 after discovering several ethical lapses at her places of employment. She decided it was best to start her own business so she could dictate the values and beliefs from which to run her business. Renée's coaching clients are based all over the world, and range from various types of coaches, import/exporters, to direct line marketers.
Learn more about Renée and The LEAP Network by visiting her website here: www.theleapnetwork.coachesconsole.com.
You can also send an email directly to Renée at firstname.lastname@example.org (not “.com”)
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